Welcome back and happy Monday!
I’ve recently gotten a lot of questions about The Post-It Note on Instagram and from friends and family. Mostly there are two questions, the first is what is The Post-It Note actually? The second is how did you get started, which will usually prompt the follow up which is always, well what is the goal?
I have always been passionate about making people happy. Whether it is saying something funny or doing something thoughtful to turn a bad day around, I like to think that I am the kind of person that wants to go out of their way to bring cheer to others.
I’m pretty sure this is something that is ingrained in my DNA, and although I can not speak for others, I can say this about myself, I have been through excruciating moments of darkness because I suffer from trauma, depression, and anxiety and when I’m well and able, I try to make sure that if others need even a second of joy I will try to bring it to them. Somewhere in my upbringing, I decided that, if nothing else, I would be kind.
Why The Post-It Note?
I didn’t know this, but the idea for The Post-It Note came to me a long time ago, about 7 years ago actually, and it came in the form of a post-it note, well actually many.
My then boyfriend of 5 years and I had broken up and although the breakup was sad, it was needed and luckily the breakup itself was without any drama, it was after the breakup when things got really bad.
My ex suffered from depression due to traumas he suffered from throughout his life but never addressed. When I broke up with him, I believe something in him shattered and he couldn’t hold himself together.
Not even a few months after we broke up, I began receiving calls from him randomly throughout the day, then randomly throughout the night and then at all hours day and night. He was in such distress that he would beg me to take him back and when I refused he would tell me that I was the only one who could save his life. There were nights when I would be up for hours into the morning crying and begging him not to kill himself as he described exactly how he would do it.
I was a complete nervous wreck, and I’m not quite sure how I functioned at school. One night during midterms, I received a call and again he begged, I refused, then he detailed his suicide, and then I begged, it was a cycle, but this time something inside of me broke.
By the time I finished talking him down it was early in the morning and I had a history written midterm that I had to get to. I ended up having the worst panic attack of my life the second I finished writing and all I can remember was shaking violently, while handing my paper to the professor then bolting out of class to the only place I could think of which was the health center.
I thought I was having a heart attack, I ran through campus sobbing and hyperventilating and I have no idea how I made it, but I ended up in the lobby and I said I need help and I collapsed. I woke up in a dark examination room with the curtains closed for privacy. I began seeing a therapist that day.
The calls continued for months until one day I received a call from his uncle. I remember it vividly. He had taken his life and I already knew how.
I was in a terrible place mentally and emotionally. I knew that I could no longer live that way. I had a choice. I could give up or take what would have been the harder road for me. I chose to live.
I wallpapered my mirrors with post-it notes and each one had a written positive affirmation about myself. To be honest, I’m not sure if my therapist at the time suggested it or if I told her this was the way I was going to beat my depression. Knowing myself, I probably told her what the deal was.
I kept those little post-it notes up for at least a year and I read each one aloud every morning, “you are beautiful”, “you deserve to be happy”, “you are smart”, etc. and I read them over and over until I believed them. I didn’t care if I had company, was on a date, those notes stayed up. People probably thought I was crazy but those post-it notes played a huge role in my recovery.
I created The Post-It Note because we all deserve to be happy in spite of our depression and this blog is my tribute to those dozens of little stickies that kept me going through one of the worst bouts of trauma and depression that I had ever experienced.
What’s The Motivation?
I’ve talked a bit about this in the About Me page, but a little over a month ago, I had a breakdown again and I thought of journaling to help me get through it and then like an epiphany, I decided that I was going to experiment with public journaling to share my story with women and adolescents who suffer from trauma with hopes that they will fight for their lives too.
Depression is an illness that poisons the mind in such a powerful way to convince you that you are worthless, unloved and that you don’t matter.
I REBUKE THAT! I have so much love for myself that when my depression gets to acting up and tries to manipulate my mind into telling me that I’m not worthy of love or life, I simply respond in my best Taraji P. Henson voice “you is a damn lie!”
My motivation is myself and anyone who is close to the edge but still has some fight in them to push back against their depression to live freely in spite of it.
What’s The Goal?
My personal goal is to become a professional motivational speaker to reach and uplift women and adolescents who suffer from trauma, anxiety, and depression.
The goal for The Post-It Note is to be a safe space and a resource for people who need assistance managing their depression and anxiety. I want people to come to this blog and leave feeling strong and capable to move forward through their pain.
I hope that this clarifies The Post-It Note and what I’m all about. If you have any additional questions, I’d be happy to answer them! Leave me a comment below or send me an email on the Contact page.
For those days that seem a little too dark to deal with, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, it provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress. It also provides prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, you can reach them here at 1-800-273-8255.