For the past few weeks, I have been following the Cardi B and Offset break-up saga. I’ve read comments and listened to the commentary on how she should take him back because he is sorry, and how he is not only manipulative but also abusive in his actions. I’ve listened to Cardi beg her fans to not bad mouth Offset because after all, he is the father of her child.
Honestly the back and forth is exhausting for me to watch, so I can only imagine how she must feel in all of this; and more so, I wonder, why do we carry so much loyalty for the bad in our lives?
Granted, from what is plastered all over the internet, Cardi has walked away from the situation, but the way that she excuses her estranged husband’s behavior is just unfortunate.
I watched the video where Cardi performed at Rolling Loud, as the first woman to headline in three years mind you, and during her performance Offset bombards her onstage with roses, sorry “bruhs” and all other sorts of pomp and circumstance. Watching her recoil from him made me sick to my stomach because as someone who has experienced being in a relationship that was both mentally and verbally abusive, I felt the manipulation forced on her. She clearly looked upset, and honestly tired.
So why defend? Why remain loyal?
I understand not wanting to bad mouth her child’s father, in front of the child, but asking for others, people who solely ride for you, to stay mum when they see you are clearly being disrespected is a little bewildering to me.
I personally feel like it is because she truly feels compelled to. She said in one of her videos that he was there for her when she couldn’t get studio time, he was there when she was being taken advantage of, he was there when she was robbed. But just because someone is always there for you, doesn’t mean that they deserve your devout loyalty.
And just because he fathered her child and helped her out with her career does not give him an all-access pass to her respect, loyalty, and allegiance.
I do feel that she is being extremely level-headed and very mature considering that he has repeatedly humiliated her in front of the world.
If you look hard enough you can find the light in just about anyone or anything.
I believe that relationships are transactional, meaning that in a relationship, platonic or otherwise, one member gives and the other takes and vice versa. These transactions can be beneficial or destructive. It is beneficial when there is respect for both parties and the relationship itself.
All of that goes out the window when the relationship becomes toxic, abusive, and outright erosive. We owe it to ourselves to reserve that loyalty for us.
If you look hard enough you can find the light in just about anyone or anything. A fish will swim right up to something good on a hook, and meet its death. Don’t be the fish!
Keep in mind that just because it felt good at that moment, does not mean that it is the best thing for you mentally, emotionally or physically. We all deserve consistency, but more than that, we deserve the space to say this isn’t working for me anymore and to let it rest at that.